A couple of weeks ago I visited the ward and had a great day. I was on a ‘day off’ today so decided that after receiving a call the night before from one of The Gents that I would pop in and see them. He had had some bad news and I was hoping to cheer him up. Little does he know that seeing them, being on the ward actually cheered me up!

Getting up early is something that can be more difficult these days, now I’m at home and settled into a routine of allowing my body to sleep and wake when it needs to, but on that day I was up and out early because I had somewhere to be. It was just like the old days. It was a year ago that I started dialysis and today it felt like I hadn’t left.

Arriving on the warm and inviting ward I was greeted by the familiar smiling faces of the staff, not expecting me their faces seemed pleasantly surprised. I tried to contain my excitement about being there but who was I fooling? Who would have thought that the place that I didn’t particularly like the thought of going to had become a safe haven, somewhere I felt completely at ease; somewhere I would say I was visiting friends.

I had planned to only be there for a couple of hours and then walk into town, after all we were due to do the ‘Diabetes UK 13 Bridges Challenge’ the following week, 10 miles all in the name of charity (https://www.justgiving.com/carvells/). As it turned out I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I stayed the whole length of their treatment. I know what a relief it is to have company, kill those four hours but staying wasn’t only for them, it was for me too, I needed this time with The Gents.

I’m not one who goes unnoticed, I do tend to make an entrance and this day was no different. My arms flung open and the biggest smile on my face I made my way to the familiar corner of the ward throwing waves of ‘hello’ to everyone as I went by. It was on purpose, I remembered the way it felt when a familiar face came to visit or someone different came onto the ward. A breath of fresh air, that is what I was trying to be, that was my job for the day.

The Gents perked up the moment I said ‘hi’ and it was as if I had never been away (They do call me every few weeks which is a big highlight for me and I cherish the calls I receive from them) but seeing them face to face is different. Francis was looking much better since a little health wobble not so long ago and for a man who has been through the mill he always manages to have the biggest smiling eyes. Tony aka ‘You’ll be alright’ nicknamed after one of the nurses told him this quite firmly (yet beautifully timed) after listening to him trying to wind her up after one of his sessions. Just goes to show the nurses DO have a sense of humour! Tony was on form and I was happy to be there.

Conversation started around how much fluid they all had put on since their last treatment, which is always a good subject. Have to been naughty? Have you drunk too much? When your kidneys fail they can struggle to produce urine and remove the excess fluid. The fluid that you drink has to come out of you some way!! This is what the dialysis machine does. As well as cleaning the blood it squeezes fluid from the blood cells and washes it away. If the fluid was to stay there it would accumulate which would put pressure on the heart (as it has a tough time pushing the blood around with excess fluid attached) (Check out more here…Fluid restriction – more details). So hearing that Tony had kept to his fluid restrictions and only had a small amount to take off was a delight to everyone, especially the nurses! I can imagine it’s tough telling a patient to reduce their fluid intake but it’s for the right reason as it can be very dangerous and even fatal. Francis had put weight on which is a relief to everyone and of course he had already eaten his cheese and biscuits – routine in this place is the norm even if it was only 9:30am.

The thing is with The Gents is that they are old school, true gentlemen. Intelligent men that have stories to tell, time to give and they have earned the respect they are given. To be honest they remind me of my late Pops and I think this is why I have taken to them so much. They have taken me under their wing and it feels like family now, the whole ward feels like family. And this is why I am here…everyone needs someone to do something special for them, random acts of kindness; a thank you card, an out of the blue visit or just a phone call. Its less about the fact that we are all going through the same thing and more the fact that a friend needed a pick me up and that’s what you do for friends.

The hours whizzed by as we reminisced about my time on the ward, friends passed and present and what the future holds. I didn’t want my visit to end and I stayed until they had finished their treatment for the day, desperately wanting to do more but knowing they will be going through the same thing again the day after next and will be something they will need to do forever. I too will be plugging in soon but I keep my morale high as I know that it is temporary. I consider myself a lucky one; being back on the ward reminds me just how lucky. Although I don’t know when, one day I will receive the ‘gift of life’ and my life will start again. I will be able to sleep at night without the fear of my blood dropping low and my body will function the way it’s supposed to. How awesome is that?!?

So instead of choosing to be glum, down in the dumps about my lack of holidays, sticking needles in myself, constant blood sugar monitoring I’m choosing to make the most of the time, keeping well and appreciate the wonderful life I have, and how super duper it’s going to be once I have my new (kindly donated) spare parts! My visit to the ward is part of my wonderful life, seeing friends and helping them through just one session, helped me through another day. I’m sure they know it anyway but Thank you! (I know they read this, they ‘check in on me’) x

One last word from someone who has been on both sides. Don’t just sit there and feel sorry for someone, do something. Trust me, even the smallest of gestures will make a big difference to you and them.

My Dad with me on the ward. It’s what you do…💕